


Pack Life

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 20:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boyd decides to make a documentary of his pack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pack Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladybugbenn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybugbenn/gifts).



> I hope the format for this fic isn't too confusing. It is cut up a bit, but I tried to write it like a documentary. So.  
> I hope you enjoy the story.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"Boyd, why do you have a camera?" Derek's eyebrows grew close together as he stared down the red light.

"I'm making a documentary." Boyd said, only his voice heard. He moved the camera slightly in his hands, making Derek's face appear to tilt slightly before being straightened again.

"Why the hell are you making a documen-"

"Is that a camera?" Peter's voice was heard when he suddenly appeared on screen.

PETER HALE; BETA; PREVIOUS ALPHA; RETURNED FROM THE DEAD

"Make sure you get my good side." Peter smiled and turned his head, "It's this side. I'm very proud at how this side isn't covered in scars from the fire anymore."

.

PACK LIFE

A DOCUMENTARY BY VERNON MILTON BOYD IV "BOYD"

.

HELEN RICE; NEIGHBOR; WORKS AT HOWLER'S PHARMACY

"Oh yes, I know all about Derek Hale and his group of friends. Good to see him being around people again." Helen nodded, her gray curls bouncing, "He came from a big family, know what it's like. It's good that he's got people again. Even if he and Sheriff's kid are fucking."

"Grandma!"

WINNIE MANN; NEIGHBOR, REPORTER

"I cannot believe you just said that." Winnie said, staring at her grandma in awe.

"Well it's true." Helen said, "We all know it. I sneak lube and condoms in young Stilinski's prescriptions."

.

STILES STILINSKI; HUMAN

"She winks at me." Stiles said, voice without emotion. "As she hands me my Adderall. She winks."

.

HELEN RICE; NEIGHBOR; WORKS AT HOWLER'S PHARMACY

"You have to practice safe sex, dear." Helen told Winnie, "I haven't been giving you condoms because I want some great-grand babies."

.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"No I'm not having sex with Stiles." Derek said, glaring into the camera.

"Why aren't you bumping uglies with him?" Erica asked, she was in the background getting a soda from the fridge.

ERICA REYES; BETA

"You should bone him." Erica flashed a smile before leaving.

Derek put his hand over his face, "Oh my God."

"You picked out your betas." Boyd's voice came from behind the camera. "You can only blame yourself."

"I know." Derek moaned pitifully.

"Bone him hard!" Erica's voice yelled at them.

Boyd zoomed in to see Derek putting his face in his hands.

.

STILES STILINSKI; HUMAN

"Pack life, huh? Cool, cool." Stiles nodded. "Are you going to have like backstory or just jump in and be like 'this is our pack run away we're crazy assholes'?"

"Well how would you sum up the backstory, Stiles?" Boy asked.

"Like in one sentence?" Stiles smirked, "Werewolves are not mountain lions."

.

JOHN STILINSKI; HUMAN; SHERIFF

John frowned, "I swear our town is over-run with hunters and most of them are big game hunters looking for mountain lions. And there are no mountain lions. If I find another poacher captured by some faeries and being used as a sacrifice to the god of tornadoes I am going to shoot someone. Peter. I'll shoot Peter."

.

PETER HALE; BETA; PREVIOUS ALPHA; RETURNED FROM THE DEAD

"Yeah? He said that?" Peter scratched his chin, "Wouldn't be the first time he shot me."

.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"We don't talk about the god of tornadoes." Derek didn't look up from the newspaper, "Go film someone else."

.

ISAAC LAHEY; BETA

"The poor weather man. I swear he was going to have a mental break. We had so many tornadoes and every day he would promise that there weren't going to be more." He shrugged. "I mean-"

"Hey! Why haven't you filmed me yet?"

JACKSON WHITTEMORE; BETA; PREVIOUSLY KANIMA

"You should want me in your documentary. Your ratings just improved." Jackson smiled.

"Shut up and sit down." Derek said, walking into the room.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"We have a situation, everyone get in the living room." Derek finished.

The living room was taken over by the pack, all of them finding a seat.

"I don't like it when you say that there is a situation." Scott said, chewing on his lip.

SCOTT MCCALL; OMEGA; ALPHA OF HIS OWN PACK

"Remember when you called us together to warn us against the harpy but before you could tell us about the harpy she flew in the window and attacked us?"

"Yes, surprisingly I still remember that." Derek bit out.

"What is it this time?" Isaac asked.

"It seems," Derek paused, "we have kind of made Gaia a bit angry."

"Gaia?" Lydia asked, voice sharp.

LYDIA MARTIN, HUMAN

"As in the earth?" She finished.

Derek sighed, "Yes, there is a human aspect she'll take when people do stupid things and she stopped by this morning when I was eating breakfast and turned all of my scrambled eggs into chickens, laughed at me, and said she was angry at us before calling lightning in through the window to strike me and declare that we would pay and then she left."

"Dude, you got struck by lightning?" Stiles stood up quickly before looking around and sitting back down.

STILES STILINSKI; HUMAN

"Are you okay?" Stiles finished.

"I'm fine, Stiles." Derek said, looking at him. "I'm just glad she didn't decide to hit you with lightning."

"Yeah, romantic." Jackson drawled, "We're so glad you took one for your human boyfriend but how exactly do we fight the earth?"

"We aren't boyfriends." Derek said.

"Do we know what we did to make her mad? Because fixing it doesn't seem like a bad idea." Lydia said.

"I just told you everything. She didn't tell me why she felt the need to turn my breakfast into animals." Derek glared.

.

"So what did you do with the chickens?" Boyd asked, adjusting the focus on his camera.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"I put them in the backyard and then put an order in for some lumber." Derek's eyes narrowed as he stared down the camera, "I am building them a chicken coop and will have farm fresh eggs everyday. Damn it, I deserve my scrambled eggs."

.

PETER HALE; BETA; PREVIOUS ALPHA; RETURNED FROM THE DEAD

Peter entered the kitchen where Derek was doing the dishes, "Derek why are there chickens in the back yard?"

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

Derek turned around and threw a plate at Peter, "I deserve scrambled eggs!"

Peter watched as Derek ran out of the room before turning to the camera, "He has issues."

.

LYDIA MARTIN; HUMAN

"I'm going to find Gaia and sit down as women and ask her why she's so mad." Lydia said, "Instead of waiting around for her to hit someone else with lightning."

"Maybe she's a vegan and it's her time of the month and she just got really mad when she saw Derek about to eat some eggs." Jackson suggested.

JACKSON WHITTEMORE; BETA; PREVIOUSLY KANIMA

Lydia hit him on the arm, "If she catches you saying stuff like that she might target you next."

.

"So where are you going to put the chicken coop?" Boyd asked.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"I was thinking of where that one tree was. Because we're used to having a tree there so it's not like it would take up some of our yard that we use." Derek shrugged.

"Which tree?" Boyd said.

Derek glared, "You know what tree I'm talking about."

"Tell the camera." Boyd sighed.

Rolling his eyes, Derek pointed to what was now a tree stump, "The tornado god did some bad damage to this one tree and the other day I finally got around to cutting it down. It's a nice place for a chicken coop."

.

JOHN STILINSKI; HUMAN; SHERIFF

"I don't know why Derek and Stiles aren't dating. I mean, I know Stiles isn't eighteen yet, but not only am I Stiles' dad but the law and I'm okay with it. He's going to be legal soon, yeah, but why wait?" John shrugged. "I guess I should be glad that they haven't been going at it behind my back but I think that would be healthier for them. The sexual tension is horrible."

.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

STILES STILINSKI; HUMAN

Boyd zoomed in on a shirtless Derek ripping the rest of the stump up from the ground, getting ready the build his chicken coop as Stiles sat a few feet away staring with an open mouth and petting a chicken.

.

LYDIA MARTIN; HUMAN

She sat outside the cafè in a sundress, "Gaia will be here soon."

"How did you get an appointment with Gaia?" Boyd asked.

Lydia smiled at him.

A woman walked up, and sat down, "Hello Lydia."

"Gaia?" Lydia held out her hand.

GAIA; THE EARTH

"Yes." She smiled. "It's nice to meet you."

"And you." Lydia said. "Shall we order some food before we discuss business?"

"That sounds lovely." Gaia agreed.

After they ordered some scones and coffee, Gaia turned to Boyd, "Why do you have a camera?"

"I'm making a documentary about our pack." Boyd answered, "I hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all. It's only too bad you didn't get video of me hitting your alpha with lightning." Gaia added.

"Yes, I would have loved to see that." Lydia said. "I actually want to discuss that with you."

"I have figured as much." Gaia said.

"We aren't sure what we did wrong." Lydia shrugged, "And as much fun as meeting you and having this lunch is, we don't really want you to hurt our pack."

"Just your alpha, dear." Gaia said, sipping on her coffee now that it arrived. "He's the one who did the deed."

"Oh, well that's fine." Lydia said. "I don't really care what you do to him. But the thing is one of my friends is really attached to him and if something would happen to Derek, my friend would get really sad. You don't want to see him sad."

"Why wouldn't I want to see that?" Gaia asked.

"It's a bit pathetic to see, to be honest." Lydia said.

"But he destroyed my tree." Gaia said. "He needs to pay for that."

"You're tree?" Lydia pressed.

"Yes, it was used as a place of worship for me, back when people actually thought about me being able to help them. I'm fond of my trees." Gaia answered.

"Gaia," Lydia started, "a few weeks ago we had a problem with someone who could control tornadoes and one of them hit the tree I believe you're talking about. And it damaged the tree, it was clearly in pain and would have died slowly. Derek just decided that instead of worrying about the tree falling into his house in the next storm, he would get rid of it. I know he wouldn't have touched it if it hadn't been damaged by a tornado that he had no control over."

Gaia blinked, "Really?"

"Yes. I wouldn't lie to you." Lydia shrugged.

Gaia thoughtfully took a bite of her scone, "I can't really fault him, if he didn't do the damage and was trying to protect his home." She sighed. "The one who created the tornado, where is he?"

"Dead." Lydia said, "We took care of it."

Gaia nodded, "I will be on my way then." She finished her coffee and and nodded to them before walking away.

.

LYDIA MARTIN; HUMAN

"I called you all here because - Derek stop fretting over your chickens - I have solved our problem with Gaia." Lydia said with as smug smile.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"How?" He asked, letting go of one of his chickens that ran off into the other room.

"I went out for a cup of coffee with her and we talked." Lydia answered, "But we don't have to worry about her hurting anyone anymore." She went into more details about what all happened.

"You're saying I didn't get my scrambled eggs because of that tornado god?" Derek growled.

"Yes but now you can have all the eggs you want." Lydia said.

.

ERICA REYES; BETA

"Lydia, you had the balls to talk to Gaia, will you talk with Derek and Stiles and get them to have sex?" Erica pleaded.

LYDIA MARTIN; HUMAN

"I am not setting them down to talk about that." Lydia shook her head. "No way."

.

STILES STILINSKI; HUMAN

"Your chickens need names." Stiles said, watching Derek finish building the chicken coop.

DEREK HALE; ALPHA

"What?" Derek turned around.

"You have four chickens. They need names. You don't want one of us to come in one morning screaming about how chicken number three seems to be sick, right? Much easier if they have names." Stiles crossed his arms.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Fine, you name them then."

"I'll name them after the four people I love most." Stiles said.

"Yeah, that won't get confusing." Derek muttered. "Okay, what are they?"

"John, after my dad. Martha, after my mom. Scott, after Scott. and Derek." Stiles finished the last quietly.

Derek froze, "Derek?"

Stiles looked up, "Yeah. Derek."

"Me?" Derek's eyebrows rose.

"No, the other Derek that I'm in love with." Stiles bit out sarcastically.

Derek dropped his hammer and ran over to Stiles, the chickens running from the sudden movement, and he wrapped his arms around Stiles before giving him a long kiss.

When they were done, Stiles looked at the camera, "Boyd you better not follow us with that thing unless you want your documentary to turn into porn." He pulled Derek behind him as he rushed inside the house.

.

HELEN RICE; NEIGHBOR; WORKS AT HOWLER'S PHARMACY

"The other day the Sheriff's kid thanked me for the lube and condoms I've been giving him. I'm glad he's learned some manners."


End file.
